Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Over It

Joaquin has another evaluation coming up for his Early Intervention services so all his therapists are doing their 6 month evaluations on him and letting me know where he falls on the spectrum as far as his abilities or lack of abilities. One of our teachers from Easter Seals was asking me all sorts of questions like how many words does he say and how many words does he sign. I told her "a bunch". She wanted a number. I told her I don't really count them but he has a lot and we are happy with his progress. Again, she wanted a number. I told her I really don't know and I really don't care to count them out. He's behind for his age as far as his typical peers go so why does it matter what number of words he says.

Can you tell I'm over it?

I really am. I love Joaquin. He is amazing. He does amazing things and he does them on his own time. He is progressing and he is improving all the time. I don't see the point in putting a "number" on it. I KNOW the therapists have to do this in order to justify his therapies and I UNDERSTAND that, I'm just over it.

I told the teacher from Easter Seals put whatever number or age range you want, it really doesn't matter to me. I'm happy with where Joaquin is at right now. She was SHOCKED! She said so many parents want to know exactly where their kids fall in the "typical" range and these parents keep very close track of it. I don't. I don't keep Joaquin's therapy notes. I read them and then I toss them. Sorry. I live a lot of my life in the moment and I don't like to dwell too much on things and maybe this makes me a bad parent. But I don't think I am. Joaquin gets over 6 therapies a week and I make sure he gets to all of those appointments and he rarely if ever misses them. I read to him, sing with him, sign with him and play with him all day every day. He is surrounded by his two big brothers every day. He is in our community every day socializing with my friends, his brother's friends and his own friends. He gets loved on by his grandparents almost every day. He's pretty integrated into our lives I would say. And for the most part, besides those 6 hours of therapy a week, he's just my normal child. Sure he's over 2 and just starting to walk, that's ok with me. He's going to walk, run and jump soon enough. Sure he's over 2 and not talking in sentences, but he is communicating and he is getting most of his needs met through his signs and limited words. He will continue to improve on this with time.

Again, I may be in for a huge reality check when it comes time to transition from IFSP's to IEP's but I know my child and I know how to advocate for him so I'll cross that bridge when I have to.

So, when it comes time for these 6 month reports, I just simply get through them, nod my head, make sure Joaquin gets the services he needs and then move on. I do not even care to hear where he falls on the spectrum...I just don't. Like I said it doesn't matter to me. I'm over it.

Ok...thanks for the vent.

19 comments:

Laurie said...

Right there with you my friend. Honestly, I feel exactly the same way...

((Hugs))

Adrienne said...

Even though I'm not as far along on this journey I am the same way! I read the notes and toss them, I do what they say to do and then I do what I did with my girls. I really don't care about what age he's at. You can totally stress yourself out and when it comes down to, obsessing over the numbers isn't going to make them leap up and be just like a typical kid for their age- it just isn't! You do what you can and what you think is best and then whatever happens is how they were meant to be. Don't get me wrong, I want Bennett to get every service he can but I still don't obsess over what he's doing vs. what another 1 year old is doing. So needless to say, I'm right there with ya on this one!:)

Cathy said...

I'm there too!!! As long as Lily is progressing...who cares!

Kelli said...

AWESOME post....

...you put into words so much of how I feel now! It's amazing because when I started this journey I was so overwhelmed and I thought that if I wasn't doing his "exercises" every free minute, he was going to fail, and then when it came time for testing (at 6 mos.) I THOUGHT i needed to know where he fell. I talk all of the time now about how far I have come because that stuff doesn't matter as much any more. Sure, I want EVERYTHING for him and I will continue to work hard for him. However, I also realized that the numbers don't matter because EVERY day he is improving and that's better than any indicator on a piece of paper...

Heather said...

In some ways,in fact in a lot of ways,all of Zoey's medical crisis' have allowed me to be the very same way.Seeing her overcome so much on the medical front,especially leukemia,has allowed me to see with crystal clarity,all that is important ...the mere fact that Zoey is even here with us today.A miracle.So we rejoice in the everyday simple miracle of the moment.We rejoice in every smile,every hug and every kiss.

Over it right along with you.

*Getting so excited, as the day draws ever closer, that Sophia is finally home with you all!Talk about rejoicing!

Kelly said...

Funny, I just did a post on this about a month ago!

I totally agree with you on this subject! Landon is 15 months old and just had his IFSP 6month evel. a month ago. Once his team was done with their so called "test", my husband and I told them not to bother reading the results. We are well aware that Landon has some delays but we are also well aware as to how far Landon had come in those 6 months. We see his abilities every single day. We know he will do things that his "typical" peers do, he'll just do them when HE wants too. That works for us!

Landon is "integrated" into our family, school and community too. We decided to focus on the all the things that Landon does do!! We just file those papers in a binder that NEVER gets looked at:)

sheree said...

I love this!

I also do not care to know where Gabby is on the spectrum and I ALSO toss her six month review notes. I could care less.

So long as our kids are happy, healthy, and thriving then there really is no need for these labels.

Good for you for telling her how it really is! I love it!

The Sanchez Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mel said...

I agree wholeheartedly! Luckily, we focus on what he has learned, what he is currently focused on, and where to next. Our therapists share where he is doing really well, and I couldn't be prouder. And anyway, aren't we supposed to NOT compare children??

The Paskins Family said...

I'm still stuck at the part where you wrote that you have 6 therapies each week???!!! I get one each week if we're lucky! Maybe we should move back to CA!

katie said...

Hi! I'm a new reader (and big fan of yours already) & a future special education teacher. And this really saddens me. The whole emphasis of the special education program I am in (luckily) is STRENGTH-BASED. I hope you find a new, more compassionate teacher who truly understands all that your son CAN do already soon! Your son sounds great. Happy to know he has a WONDERFUL mom like you for support & guidance. He's a lucky kid! :o)

Jennifer said...

Wow, you make a really good point here. I still wonder why I bother to count how many words Aidan can read or say, because it doesn't matter so much to me. I realize that I'm trying to justify to other people how smart he is, when I really shouldn't care what other people think. You make a lot of good points; thanks for the insight.

Anne and Whitney: Up, Down and All Around said...

I "feel" your vent! AGHHHH!!! there, that feels better, right :) well said!

Monica Crumley said...

It's my least favorite part of IFSPs, too. And I"ve already been warned that IEPs are pretty tough about pinpointing age ranges / abilities. Ugh! I'm so with you on all this Jen, and I never read the writeups afterward, either. Like you said... as long as our kids are doing well, progressing and learning, why worry and stress over numbers...

Loren Stow said...

I feel the same way! I'm happy with where Malakai's at - I can't be bothered to figure out where he is on the spectrum, because I know he's behind, but who cares?
He's loved, healthy and happy!

Lisa said...

I totally get where you're coming from. I'm right there with ya, sistah.

Crittle said...

YES! Over it, indeed!

Almost 3. Head go boom.

Tausha said...

So glad I am not the only one who throws them away. I used to keep them and then was like, why am I keeping these??? Loved your post.

Sharon said...

Yep, over it here, too. Evaluations are optional for us now. The Ds diagnosis qualifies him for services automatically. And, like you - it really doesn't matter to me what Brennan's developmental age is. He's awesome and amazing and loved and that's all that really matters, isn't it? :)